I Gave In… and Weighed In (Sugar Sober Series)

5

October 30, 2014 by Beth Hess

Even as I wait for the digital numbers to appear, I question my motives.

I said I had no intention of getting on the scale during these 31 Days. But here I am on Day 29, wondering if my pants are lying to me or if they might really be looser due to pounds lost.

What if there’s no change? Or worse — a larger number than October 1. I hadn’t thought about that.

I think I’m feeling some difference in my body. Why isn’t that enough?

What am I trying to prove to myself? That these days have not been wasted?

My mind already knows progress has been made.

Weight dropped from my pride. My callousness getting smaller.

I’ve lost my “me do it” attitude and released the fear of sharing my story.

My worry that I’m forever trapped by addiction is lighter. The measure of my anxiety passing buffet restaurants smaller.

I realize I am holding my breath for these seconds that feel like hours.

The number is lower.

And that feels good. But it doesn’t change my knowing that the miles ahead are still many. And that numbers aren’t the best way to measure them.

So maybe it’s Ok that it matters some. As long as the scale is only a messenger and not a master.

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sugarsoberoctoberIn response to the 31 Daily blogging challenge, I will be publishing EVERY DAY in October while I stay sugar-free. You can read previous posts HERE. To be alerted to new posts, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter using the links on the right side of this page. Or Subscribe to get posts sent to your Email. Feel free to Tweet your own experiences with #sugarsoberoctober as well.

PLEASE use the comment section to share your own thoughts, questions, or experiences. Like any road, sugar sobriety is one more easily walked with friends. I do my best to reply to every comment.

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5 thoughts on “I Gave In… and Weighed In (Sugar Sober Series)

  1. […] Sometimes God gets creative with a way of escape. But there is always a way. If I take it. Day 30: On Giving into the Scale, but Still not Letting it Rule Me: The number is lower. And that feels good. But it doesn’t change my knowing that the miles ahead […]

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  2. JoNell says:

    Beth, I so admire what you are doing! I need to know–have you eliminated only sugar? There are so many conflicting messages regarding what to/what not to eat! Whole grains vs. no grains, etc. The holidays are looming and I feel I must have a plan solidly in place or I’ll be in big trouble. I’ve saved the reading list you shared recently. I do believe in Jesus and I know His help is key, but I feel like I’m floundering right now. Advice, please? JoNell

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    • Beth Hess says:

      JoNell… I’m really hesitant to give you a “plan” … because I am learning that when I have a list to go by, I rely on it more than I rely on Jesus to guide me at each meal. My husband is diabetic, so we don’t have much pasta, rice, potatoes, and other carbs anyway. I try to stick with fruit, veggie, and meat. I gave up diet soda and now drink only milk, unsweet tea, and water. I think mostly in terms of “paleo” but use dairy in limited amounts and I’m not above having a hot dog on a bun at the ballgame. But God could tell me to change all that tomorrow. He is clearly telling me to avoid the things that I tend to overeat (like bread) and be more aware of being full and/or hungry physically and not just emotionally. But what triggers you will not be the same as what triggers me. If a food plan is what you think you need, then prayerfully consider several of them to determine where God is leading you. (And then ignore all the people who will tell you that you aren’t doing it right and be confident in God’s plan for YOU!)

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      • JoNell says:

        Thank you so much, Beth, for replying. I’ve ordered Brene Brown’s book, Gifts of Imperfection. God frequently uses printed material to reach me and teach me so I’m looking forward to seeing if this is one of His lessons! I love that He advises you in such detail. I’m not sure just how He will speak to me on this issue, but I definitely intend to be much more attentive. I know I have to give up my rebellious self-will! I am ever so grateful for his compassionate love! Thanks again.

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      • Beth Hess says:

        I think you’ll really love Gifts of Imperfection. It changed me, and I pray God will use it in a powerful way for you as well. Can’t wait to hear what you think of it.

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