October 30, 2014 by Beth Hess
Even as I wait for the digital numbers to appear, I question my motives.
I said I had no intention of getting on the scale during these 31 Days. But here I am on Day 29, wondering if my pants are lying to me or if they might really be looser due to pounds lost.
What if there’s no change? Or worse — a larger number than October 1. I hadn’t thought about that.
I think I’m feeling some difference in my body. Why isn’t that enough?
What am I trying to prove to myself? That these days have not been wasted?
My mind already knows progress has been made.
Weight dropped from my pride. My callousness getting smaller.
I’ve lost my “me do it” attitude and released the fear of sharing my story.
My worry that I’m forever trapped by addiction is lighter. The measure of my anxiety passing buffet restaurants smaller.
I realize I am holding my breath for these seconds that feel like hours.
The number is lower.
And that feels good. But it doesn’t change my knowing that the miles ahead are still many. And that numbers aren’t the best way to measure them.
So maybe it’s Ok that it matters some. As long as the scale is only a messenger and not a master.
In response to the 31 Daily blogging challenge, I will be publishing EVERY DAY in October while I stay sugar-free. You can read previous posts HERE. To be alerted to new posts, please follow me on Facebook or Twitter using the links on the right side of this page. Or Subscribe to get posts sent to your Email. Feel free to Tweet your own experiences with #sugarsoberoctober as well.
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