a person I used to be


November 24, 2014 by Beth Hess

stone-angelThe tattered remains of tissues rest in my lap. Another clenched in my fist.

My young world has turned on its axis. For the first time really. The tough realities of death. And loss. And unfairness. And vulnerability.

My grandpa’s passing. Two dear families leaving my hometown. Being called a cheater by a teacher. The Junior High locker room.

I am 13. And nothing feels the same anymore.

If this is what lies ahead on the path of “growing up,” I want none of it.

Maybe that’s why on many days, in many ways, I still feel like that girl.

The calendar pages turned. My braces and glasses came off. My hair has been cut and grown again and cut and grown. I’ve lived in four additional states since then. My name has changed.

But have I?

For the remainder of this post, click over HERE to where I am guest hosting at Kelli’s Chronicles of Grace and kicking off the linking party with Unforced Rhythm friends.

4 thoughts on “a person I used to be

  1. Sharon says:

    I so enjoyed your words today, Beth. I remember 13, too. Mine was not easy either. It was the year that a very best friend decided she didn’t like me, and turned everyone against me. It was a painful time of self-doubt and low self-esteem. And yes, like you, some of that girl still lives within me.

    But, yes! The Lord in His graciousness keeps molding and shaping us, and we become new creatures! I’m so glad for that. Loved that quote you included, for indeed, I have lost touch with a few of the “me’s” that I’ve left behind (thank goodness!)

    Thank you for always being so vulnerable. For when you share your heart, I always come away feeling so encouraged.



    • Beth Hess says:

      I think we are all still vulnerable to those painful places, Sharon. But I, like you, am grateful for a God that doesn’t leave us in that place. Love it when you stop by and share your thoughts, Sharon.


  2. This was wonderful to read! Thank you for writing your story with so much hope and beauty.


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